Michelle's Shell

Happy Thanksgiving from your eternal optimist!   Ok, maybe the “eternal optimist” title is more of an inside joke between me and a few friends that know I can be anything but.    Yes, some people always see the bright side, and others of us…   well, we like to call ourselves “realists.” :)   At work one day I joked to a colleague saying, “Hey, someone’s got to remind us we’re all going to die!”   He responded with, “And you sure do a good job of it!” Haha... I won’t lie – it’s sometimes hard for me to be thankful.   I do tend to see the problems, the issues, the difficulties.   And I have to make sure to worry about them – because how would they get fixed otherwise??   Sometimes I just wake up stressed, depressed, anxious, and not seeing the light.   I don’t want to praise. But in some of these very times, I’ve clearly heard God say, “Praise Me anyways.”   “But Lord, I don’t feel like it right now!”  ...

Communication...  In the spiritual realm, we've all probably heard it said, "Prayer is just talking to God."  Yeah, we know.  Been there, heard that, have the t-shirt.  And if that's what this "communication" blog post is on, s ome of you are ready to skip this right now.   N ot long ago I may have done the same.   Because to be honest,  communication with God - this "prayer" thing -   has never been the easiest thing for me.   I find myself guilty of singing “Sweet Hour of Prayer” when I should have really been singing “Sweet Five Minutes.”   Sure, I’d talk to God throughout the day.   But to actually sit down and pray for the length of time that I’d have a normal conversation with a friend?   Rare.   The ADD I didn’t even know I had comes out and within the first few minutes talking with God becomes pondering my to-do list, thinking about guys, wondering what’s on Facebook, or…   who even knows. ...

Stopped at a red light, I turn the car stereo up another couple notches.   I don’t want to hear anything but the music right now – especially not the voices in my head.   I don’t want to hear the questions.   I don’t want to hear the pain.   I don’t want to hear the echo of the eerie void.   But no matter how loud the external noise gets, I can’t drown out the feelings yelling from deep inside.   It’s so hard not to feel… Yet hard as it is, avoiding feeling can get easier over time.   It gets easier not to listen.   It’s possible to carve out an existence where we guard more, feel less, and simply survive.   We can shove it away, get down to business, and avoid the pain.   It might pop out sometimes – when something triggers that internal switch, or the stress level reaches a certain threshold.   But for the most part, life temporarily can go on as “normal.”   Or, when just shoving it away doesn’t work, we try t...

There’s a certain glow a girl gets when she’s in love.   Have you noticed?   I suppose guys get it too, in their own way, but I’m talking about that radiant face, the beaming smile, and the overall aura of “I’m secure, I’m special, I’m loved, and can’t you tell?”   She walks a little straighter, smiles a little more, and you get a glimpse of the dignified “princess” side of a girl’s soul.   Whether I’ve ever visibly exhibited that aura or not, I think I know what it feels like.   I’ve been there – and it’s nice :) But I’ve also been there when it’s not nice.   When “everyone” else is in love and you’re wondering when your ship will come in.   Or worse yet, when your love has ended, or you’ve been hurt, and you’re left to wonder, “Was it worth it?” I’d like to propose to you that love is always worth it.   In fact, it’s the only thing that’s worth it.   Crazy, you say?   I don’t think so. ...